if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
