Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
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