Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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