im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
