Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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