Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If I die, sorry about rent.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
