she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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