We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
