Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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