bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
