Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
