I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
