he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
