he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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