Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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