Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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