You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize