and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
