I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
