Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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