i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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