i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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