wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
