very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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