I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
