Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
