haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
