I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
