Tell her she can't have a vagina
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
