So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
