well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
