Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
