i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
