No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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