my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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