After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
