i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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