I wanna bring you to show and tell
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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