She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All I want is dick and wine.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize