my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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