I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
