Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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