some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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