Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
