You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
