i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
