I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
