Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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