What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
