I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
