Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize