Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I still have a little drunk in my system
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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