If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
