I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
