it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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