i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
