there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
