Where is the hickey?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
