): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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