my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish you could order shots online.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
